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SOme good dialogue here Zara although there's not quite as much SUBTEXT as there could be - this is where what's NOT said is as important as what is. Also be careful with spelling - eg 'effect/affect' and also with the formatting sometimes - eg you have a character who continues talking but you break it up give him a "CONT'D" direction when you don't need to as it's all one speech without additional scene directions.
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